Goodbye Saddleback Family!

Today is my last day working for Saddleback Church. I'm leaving to pursue my passion with graphic/web/animation/video production. For the past four years, this has been my home. The first time I felt inspired to search for God was here. I was baptized here. I met my closest friends here. I served in ministry here. I met Hollie here. I started off working as a janitor here. I was married here. I worked on IT here. I joined and led small groups here. I had the opportunity to pastor over some amazing high school guys here. I met my mentors here. I met some very inspiring people here. All in all, my life and my family is here.

To my brothers on Facilities,

Out of all the teams at the church, you guys have the most culture. I'm pretty sure no other team has their own language (i.e. "SandyPants! Don't be a Queeley and get 2 red dubs on the Great White before Shenibletron squats you!" You even have songs, "Two man crew for a one man job!" and "Facilities! *bump bump* Facilitates!".

I'm going to miss all the shenanigans. Boyd describes it best, "Facilities is like a wolf pack. The loudest guy is the alpha male, but that can easily change when he gets squatted by another member of the pack. The weakest/newest guy is constantly picked on and made fun of until there is a newer guy or until he squats someone of importance. However, if someone who is not a part of the pack begins picking on our weakest guy, that person can expect the whole facilities pack to squat him and his entire team!" I learned a lot from you guys and I'm going to miss most of you. Not you Adam. Not you.

To all the nerds on the IT Team,

Never in my life did I think I would be working on a PC! It's was horrible! But on a serious note, I learned a lot of stuff like what a USB extension cable looks like :) One of my favorite parts on being on the team was the lunch dynamic.

1. Brent will walk up and says, "Lunch?"

2. Nate will say, "No, I brought my lunch."

3. Parker will say, "Where?"

4. Jeff and Justin show up and say, "Where are we going?"

5. Brent will recommend, "Chick-fil-a?"

6. 7 out of 5 of us will say, "NO!"

7. We go back and forth for about 15 minutes with the same 4 places (food court, Chipotle, Round Table, Chick-fil-a)

8. We end up agreeing to go to either Chick-fil-a or some Japanese place.

9. If Nate didn't bring his lunch, he'll claim that whatever we choose is too expensive.

10. Brent will say, "I'm going to go to the bathroom, then we'll head out."

11. We then get into Brent's car and go to lunch.

That is pretty much a daily thing.

Anyway, it was fun! Thanks for showing me way more than I ever wanted to know about PCs! I will enjoy never having to do team moves or re-imaging again!!! You guys are awesome and without you, the church would fall apart. As long as there are PCs, there's a helpdesk :)

To the High School Ministry Team,

Though our time was short, your team gave me more opportunity to do what I love than any other team. Thank you so much for letting me create some fun stuff for you like the SinScanner and Face. It is because of your encouragement that I decided to pursue a career church media development. I love that your team focuses on volunteers as well as students. Keep encouraging and guiding people to their passion! You're doing an amazing job!

You will be hearing a lot more from me very soon :)

To the rest of the Church,

Thank you so much for what you do. When I was on facilities, I was separated from the offices and always saw the church from the outside. It wasn't until I joined the IT Team and had the chance to see inside church, that I realized how many amazing people work together to keep it running. Being your tech support guy allowed me work with every team. I got to know a lot of great people and was able to build a lot of solid relationships. You are my family and love you guys!

I had a lot of great memories here and I'll miss everyone!

Wedding day

Pulling Carts on Facilities

I.T. Thug Life

George ROFLington

Our puppy finally has a name! We chose Geroge ROFLington submitted by hasselhoffest on YouTube. We're calling him ROFL for short. So now we have two beagles, n00b (n00berham Lincoln) and ROFL. They're best buds! Here are some pics of the two:

Our New Puppy!

We got a new puppy! Now n00b (n00berham Lincoln), our first beagle, has a little brother! He's a beagle and looks just like n00b when he was a puppy. They're best friends and are having a blast together! We still haven't come up with a name for him yet, so we're leaving it up to the YouTube community to give us ideas :) Some are really good. I especially like the suggestion of calling him Fred Savage! Hahaha! We'll see!

2012

Hollie and I decided to watch 2012 for the first time last night. She hates watching suspenseful movies because she always gets super stressed out. It's really cute because she always yells at the screen and curls up in a ball. Even though she knows I haven't seen the movie, she always asks me what's going to happen next. I always just make up stuff to make her feel better like, "Oh they all go out and get ice cream after this!"

Anyway, she was okay after the movie and I didn't have to sleep on the couch :)

People are asking how we have 2012 when it's not on DVD yet... we know the right people :)

Mac Mini Lunch Box

My broken Mac Mini came to me one day and said, "Parker! I'm sick of being a broken computer! Make me better!" He was very demanding, so I made him into something better... a lunch box! (Mac's rule btw) The lid is held on by a set of high powered magnets with spring locks. Just press down on a corner and POP! The lid pops up! You can't exactly fit a huge meal in the MacMini Lunch Box. Maybe you can use it to encourage you to eat less! Or just fill it with candy :)

SOLD FOR $82 ON EBAY!

CryingWife.com

It looks like we're starting a series :)

Special thanks to Tim for the sketch of Hollie crying. He really captured the intenseness of her emotions :)

My New iPhone Dock Creation

Click here to see my first dock.

There was a mannequin in the dumpster outside my office for some reason. I noticed that the hands looked like they could hold an iPhone if positioned correctly. So, I ripped them off and took them home. After about an hour with my Dremel, I ended up with an iPhone dock :) I showed it to the guys at work and got the same response I alway do with this stuff, "Wow, you have way too much time on your hands." So, I drew different times all of it. Thus, too much time on my hands :) Thanks Nate for the idea!

YouTube Commenters :)

Haha! For whatever reason, the videos of Hollie crying after watching Sci-Fi movies are getting a lot of attention. Tons of YouTubers are leaving comments and some of them are hysterical! Here are a few of my favorites:

"wow shes a life noob" - JyaLeaf1911

"Why this video is so full of win.
a) chipotle napkin. yum
b) xbox360 controller as a remote
c) crying after watching it for the 2nd time in like 5 minutes.

You should do movie requests! Your wife would die after watching "A Land before Time"" - cmasterchoe

"I can't wait until she uses this as evidence at your divorce hearing. She'll get all your stuff, including your camera...then film you crying, while the "Lonely Man" theme from "The Incredible Hulk" plays underneath. Please ask her to upload that ASAP Thanks!" - youareyourownhell

So great :) Special thanks to the following types of commenters:

1. The "FIRST!" guy.

2. The guy who thinks she's acting.

3. The guy who understands that it's funny.

4. The guy who gets mad at me for uploading this.

5. The guy who hates the fact that I'm Christian :)

6. The guy who thinks she's emotionally insane (she's not).

7. The guy who thinks I'm gay.

8. The guy who gives awesome suggestions for more movies.

9. The guy who still lives in his parent's basement.

10. The guy who doesn't understand the humor.

#3 and #8 are cool. The rest... meh ;)

3 Types of Annoying People Part 2

Take this as a light hearted rant.

1. Grocery Cart Guy: I see this all the time and it drives me nuts! Some guy finishes loading his groceries into his car and proceeds to either prop his cart up on the nearest divider, leave his cart in the middle of the empty spot to his right, or roll his cart to a stop directly behind the car parked to his left. Seriously?

Go to any store parking lot and you'll see a pasture of confused carts randomly dispersed like antisocial cattle. It's ridiculous! It amazes me that strategically placed areas, designated for carts, with big signs that say, "CARTS GO HERE", have absolutely no effect on the self-absorbed minds of these shoppers. Do they realize that some poor worker has to go out and wrangle up all of these rogue carts that they left to the side? Are they just not aware of the fact that people can't park in the spot is being occupied by their cart? Are they just too important to walk that cart over to it's designated area with all of its friends?

So, what do I do about this? I help out by not only putting my cart away, I grab at least 3 other carts sitting around put them away as well. It's a sad thing that I've never ran into a situation where I did't have 3 other carts to grab. It's inconsiderate and flat out rude to put your cart anywhere other than the designated cart area. You take up parking spots can cause more work for the guy who has to wrangle up all the carts. Think about other people and walk the 50ft to put your cart away.

2. The Temperature Guy: No, I'm not talking about the guy who fixes your air conditioning unit. That guy is awesome. I'm talking about the guy in your office who constantly adjusts the temperature so he is comfortable. As long as the temperature is perfect for him, everything is just fine. He'll come out ever half hour and turn the dial based on how he's feeling at the time.

The reason this is annoying is because there are other people in the office who don't work well in extreme temperatures. If this guy was normal, the temperature would range from 73 to 76 degrees and he would never need to change the dial as if he was trying to tune a broken radio from the 50s. But alas, he's not normal. He likes it hot or cold... no warm. If he's wearing a sweater that day, chances are you're going to be freezing in your office. Casual Friday means Hawaiian shirts and an indoor sauna. It's even worse when you have two of these guys. It's a constant game of cat and mouse as one turns the temperature up and the other it down shortly after.

So, what do I do about this? I keep a jacket at my desk just incase it gets cold :)

3. The "You think you're..." Guy: We all love him. No matter what your situation, it's nothing compared to his past experience. Maybe you're cold, he has been colder. Super tired? That doesn't come close to that time he had to pull three all nighters while finishing those reports! In fact, you might have some malignant disease... his is terminal.

Every time you mention some discomfort in your life, he'll be the first to jump in and belittle your gripe with, "You're ______! That's nothing! I once _____", or "You think that's bad? I had to _______...." This guy has seen it all, heard it all, and done it all in worst conditions than you. You lack any real pain compared to him. No matter what, he can top you.

So, what do I do about this guy? It's simple. I play into his ego. "Man, it's cold out." I say. "You think you're cold!? I used to work in a meat packing facility that was 30 below!" He boasts. "Really? You're right. I'm not cold at all. In fact, it's really hot! I'm going to wear nothing but my boxers! Thanks for showing me the light!" Then I run off with joy as I start removing my clothes.

I hope you're not one of these guys :|

I Dare You to Throw the First Stone!

We got an email today from our head pastor, Rick. The email was a link to a story in the OC Resister about a former security guard from our church who was arrested for burglary... of our church. The full article can be read here, but there are a few things that I really want to get off my chest. Call this a rant if you must, but something needs to be said.

Charles needs prayer, not vilification. As I read through the comments on the OC Register page, I was disgusted to read all of the horrible things people posted. For one, we don't know the full story. I don't care about the sin that was committed. I care about the person who committed the sin. Charles was such a nice guy who served our church for many years. We don't know what circumstances in his life took place that pushed him to allegedly steal from the church. Hate the sin, love the sinner.

My heart breaks when I see people go down a bad path. It just means that they're hurting in some way. Who are we to point fingers and condemn this man? Do we base our sins off of what he does? Compared to Hitler, we're all amazing! Compared to Jesus, we ALL fall short. We are all sinful and need Christ for redemption. I don't care if you're a believer or not. Charles is a fellow brother who needs prayer and love. This is true for everyone in his situation. Don't just throw people to the curb because of this sin. Jesus died for sinners like you and me. Charles is no different from us.

Married for 364 days!

Our one year anniversary is tomorrow and I've been sick for the past 3 days :( I'm feeling better, but tonight, we're going to take it easy and watch a couple movies. My pick is awesome. Hollie's pick is not awesome.

Hollie Crying After Flash of Genius

Short and simple.

See the others here!

Church People are Hypocrites!!!

Over the past 3 days, I've had conversations with 5 different people who have the same opinion of church goers: they are hypocrites. The generalized, average statement sounds something like, "I don't go to church because everyone is there to just hangout with their friends." That may be true for a big chunk of people, but not for all. In fact, more power to the people who show up to church to hang out with friends! Maybe they're not there for God, but they are there! God can grab their hearts when they're in a church environment with believers. Those are the people we should be praying for and encouraging to show up more often. I would rather them be unbelievers hanging out with their friends at a church than unbelievers hanging out with their friends at a party.

God can do amazing things with people who have no motive to follow Christ (i.e. Paul). I once knew a guy in our college ministry who showed up every week just to hit on the girls. A lot of the other guys didn't like him because they knew his game. I wasn't too worried about him. Most girls turned him down, but he kept trying! Eventually, something happened at home and his world got turned upside-down. He showed up to church that week, not searching for girls, but searching for God. Since then, he has made some major changes in his life. He's still single and showing up to church ever week, but his motive to go to church is now God centered.

So, to the people who don't go to or don't like church because of hypocrites, here are a few things I want to say:

1. Keep in mind that every hypocrite is a life and every life is important to God.
2. You are a hypocrite. I say that in a loving way from one hypocrite to another. You have your flaws and still show up to church every week (hopefully). You have one up on the other hypocrites because you go to be fed the word and worship the Lord. Pray for the others to grow in spiritual maturity so they can do the same.
3. God is the big picture, not you. If you don't go to church because you have a dislike of certain people, you're only hurting yourself. God wants you at church. He wants you to worship, serve, disciple, have fellowship, and evangelize regardless of what the guy next to you is doing. You should pray for that guy, not judge him.
4. You're probably lacking true fellowship. Be honest with yourself, are you jealous when you see clicks around church? Nobody likes a click unless you're in one. True fellowship is not a click. Join a small group and spend time with people and God. Hanging out is fine, but fellowship what you really need.
5. The members of the church are your family members. Love them. Pray for them. Serve them. Encourage them. Be an example. Complaining will only turn others away and make you more cynical.

Love the hypocrites! Love yourself!

Ninjas4Christ

Ninjas4Christ is an epic and fake ministry run completely by ninjas! I made this site for a skit I'm doing for HSM this weekend. Should be fun! Everybody loves ninjas!

To view the website, you must first prove that you are a real ninja by taking a short test. Try it out! It's a lot of fun :)

http://www.ninjas4christ.com

Character Flaws

Disclaimer: This is a pretty lengthy one, but I'm pretty sure you'll benefit from reading it. Keep in mind that when I say flaw, I'm talking about our small, negative habits that we all have. I'm not talking about addiction, abuse, or anything that you wouldn't feel comfortable with talking about with stranger (you can tell a stranger that you procrastinate). Though many of the same principles still apply.

I committed my life to Christ when I was 19. Before that, I was a mess. After I accepted Big J into my life, I suddenly had everything together and all of my character flaws where poof'd out of existence! It was amazing! I no longer had anything wrong with me and everything that was good came natural.... And then I woke up :)

In reality, accepting Christ gave me this freedom in my life, but all my problems still existed. The only thing that changed was my heart. Now it wasn't all about me and I had a purpose for life (though I didn't know what that purpose was at the time). For the first year or so, I lived on a "Born-Again-High". Basically, I ignored my flaws because I was so happy to be apart of an amazing community of other believers! Who cares about my flaws anyway? That's all they talked about at church. "Nobody is perfect! We all have our things." I was totally happy with letting Jesus take care of my flaw-bucket (an imaginary bucket that I dumb my flaws into when I don't want to deal with them) when I pass on.

It wasn't until I was doing some research on other religions (just some extra brain food) when I came across the Mormon idea of working your way into Heaven. What? You mean you have to fix your flaws to get into Heaven? "I'll do my best and let Jesus do the rest!" That was a common little rhyme that I kept reading while looking at Mormonism. This, however, is not a post about the Mormon religion. It is simply a stepping stone in my journey towards growth and a healthy relationship with God.

So, "Doing my best and letting Jesus do the rest" sounds pretty good. Right? Not really. It depends on why you're doing your best. This was a tough one for me to wrap my mind around, but I did and it really changed how I do life. There are two ways to look at this:

1. You HAVE to do your best because God commands you to. Since we're incapable of being perfect, we look at Christ's sacrifice to pick up our slack.

2. Because of Christ's sacrifice, you are MOVED by the Holy Spirit to do your best.

The first one suggests that Jesus didn't cover all of our sins. If we don't put forth an honest, human effort, Christ will have to pick up more of your slack and therefore costing you a pretty penny when you die. The second, which is what Christians believe, is saying that because you are in no way perfect, the sacrifice of Jesus will cover it all. However, once you become a true believer, the Holy Spirit will move you to live a life that honors the one who saved you. So, do you do your best because you HAVE to or because you WANT to? It should be the latter. Oh, and it should be mentioned that "Jesus does the rest" is bogus. Jesus does it all, regardless of what you do.

(1 Corinthians 2:12, Ephesians 2:8-9)

Where am I going with all of this? Most people I meet at church live in a third category. It's a category that basically says, "I accepted Christ and that's all I have to do." Sure, they may serve others and attend Bible studies, but are they growing? Do they still have that problem with laziness? Do they still get really annoyed with bad drivers? Are they even looking at themselves, or are they using the holy sacrifice of our Savior as a crutch. "Christ has already taken care of it, so I don't need to change." If you believe that, you can refer to the first paragraph of this blog and file both of them under "in your dreams"!

(Ephesians 5:1, Hebrews 6:12)

Parker Parable Time!

Lets say that you have a cell phone. You pay the bill with your own money every month. Then, the bill goes up and you realize that you can't pay it anymore! You continue to use your phone and the bills keep piling up. Finally, they're about to cut your service, so you go to your parents and let them know what's going on. They love you and want you to have a phone so you can stay in contact with them. So, they decide to hold back on buying a new mattress and instead, they pay your phone bills and all of the late fees. Not only that, they agree to pay the phone bill for the next three months.

At this point, you're super grateful and agree to call them more often! In fact, you also agree to visit every Sunday morning to spend time with them! On top of that, you go ahead and help out all of the workers at your dad's auto shop!

Things are looking good! That is, of course, until your parents get the next phone bill. You've been racking up more charges than ever before! You've been texting way too much and making long distance calls for hours at a time! The bill is enormous! Your parents love you and pay the bill. You are so grateful! You continue to work your butt off, but the bill next month isn't any better. Again, your parent's agreed to pay the bill because they love you.

When are you going to realize that Christ paid your phone bill and you're still making long distance calls to Australia for hours at a time! You should want to look at your flaws and make some changes in yourself. Nothing says, "I'm not grateful" or "I don't fully understand" more than apathy towards wanted to change. Maybe you're not grateful and therefore feel no need. Maybe you just don't fully understand the cross and have nothing to be grateful about. The bottom line is that we live in a messed up world because we are messed up. Christ died for us to move on to a perfect world, but until we pass on, we should be making changes in ourselves to glorify and thank Him.

Practical Application:

Once a month (or every few weeks), my wife and I have a deep talk about our flaws. The first thing we do is pray that God would reveal our flaws to us. Then, we begin to talk about where we struggle. I, for one, used to get ticked off at bad drivers. The key words are USED TO. Once my wife and I identified this issue, we made a commitment to change. I would no longer flip out at other drivers and she would keep me accountable with that. It took about a month of consistent awareness and discipline, but eventually, I changed. One flaw down, on to the next! Flaws can always seep their way back into your life, so make sure you have someone to keep you accountable!

We do this because we feel like it's important to be the best representatives of Christ that we can be. We don't do it because we feel like we HAVE to. We do it because we WANT to honor our Savior by sacrificing our bad habits. NEVER say, "This is my character flaw and that's just who I am." You have been adopted into God's family. You have a new identity in Christ. Represent!

(Galatians 3:26, 2 Corinthians 5:20)

Don't get me wrong, not all flaws are easy to give up! You may need to join a 12 step program or get counseling, but it's your heart that matters. Start off simple. Get with a spouse, friend, pastor, family member... and ask them to help you with a small issue. Maybe you don't trust God enough in your life. Have an accountability partner encourage you for a month. Take some actions steps and trust God in small ways. "I trust that God will get me to work safely today." Gradually trust God more, day by day. Have your accountability partner check in with you to see how you are doing. Have a goal for the end of the month and try to reach it. Your goal might be, "I trust God with this new job opportunity." It may take longer than a month, but as long as you're on the path of change and growth for the Lord, you're glorifying the One who died for you. And lets just face it, we become less annoying when we rid ourselves of bad habits and character flaws :)

Don't be the same person you were yesterday. Be a better person because of Christ.

Top 5: Answer from HSM Small Group Questionnaire

Our HSM Small Group is awesome! We were given a questionnaire by HSM (High School Ministry at Saddleback Church) to have our guys fill out. I knew there would be two types of answers: 1) A serious, heartfelt answer and 2) 99% goofing off answers. Sure enough, our guys delivered. Here are my top favorite answers from the guys in our group:

Q) List one goal you have for your life:

A) Live on the beach / never give into technology (robot war)

Q) Who are the THREE most INFLUENTIAL PEOPLE in your life and why?

A) 1. Obi Wan Kenobi - Great Wisdom - Love him

2. Father - Smart man - very good at a lot of things

3. Ben Kenobi - Great Wisdom - Love him

Q) What are TWO things that describe YOU?

A) 1. Gangbuster 2. Dog the Bounty Hunter

Q) What do you do in your free time?

A) Dance, eat pancakes, say no to drugs!

Q) What are TWO things that describe YOU?

A) 1. Its got three letters 2. It is capitalized

Family Feud

Another project for HSM. Josh Griffin hosted HSM's Family Feud last night (with awesome co-host Chris). It was 4 girls vs 4 guys. They surveyed 225 students (I think) and used the top 7 answers. The question was, "What makes you happy?" The first guy said "Money"! haha! The girls decided to play (instead of pass). Bad move on their part. They got three strikes and my new buddy, Pickle stole the game with the answer, "Sports". He may or may not have had a slight advantage by knowing me. All the guys won $10 iTunes gift cards! Awesome! Sorry girls!

CONTROLS

Space Bar: Takes you from the logo to the game board.

Space Bar again: Takes you back to the logo.

Q: Displays the question.

1-7: Displays the corresponding answer.

Z, X, C: Displays either X, XX, or XXX for wrong answers.

R: Resets the board

CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD (right click and save as)

Old Post from the Nerf Wars of 2008

About a year ago, the IT team and HSM team had a Nerf War in the office. It was pretty fun. During the war, I started a blog called Nerf Chronicles, to document all that went down. I recently came across it while deleting some old bookmarks. Here's an excerpt:

It's been weeks since our last battle. My wounds have almost completely healed, except for the heroic scar down the side of my arm. I'll have to live with it I guess. Oh well, it makes for a good conversation piece. It's not everyday you meet a man who was able to take out an entire army of nerf warriors while simultaneously wrestling two Bengal tigers into submission. It's a good thing those jet packs on the backs of the tigers malfunctioned as they did, otherwise I probably wouldn't have had enough time to disable that bomb that threatened the bus of school children hanging over the side of that cliff directly above the dynamite factory that sat between the orphanage and home for the elderly. Yeah, I got lucky.

Those were good times. You can checkout the whole ordeal at nerfchronicles.blogspot.com

n00bs!

3 Great Business Ideas

Feel free to steal these. If you make millions, I trust that you'll give me 50% out of the goodness of your heart.

Idea #1

w&w's - This requires little effort on your part when it comes to production. Simply buy a bunch of m&m's and repackage them with "w&w's" on the bag. If ever confronted by the Mars Corporation, deny everything, forge a company called, "3&3", date it back to 1940, and claim they stole the idea from you!

Idea #2

Replacement Aglets - You have to find a need in this society! What's something that everybody has and eventually falls apart over time? Exactly! Aglets! Aglets are the hard tips on the ends of shoe laces. All you need to do is manufacture cheep pieces of plastic, have some celebrity use them in a movie and BAM! You have a replacement aglet business brining in tons of money! Be like Apple and sell them in a bunch of groovy colors! You're going to want to make a profit quickly, so charge somewhere around $8.95 per replacement. Genius!

Idea #3

Teriyaki Snow Fries - Take 3 things that everybody loves. 1) Teriyaki Chicken. 2) Snow Cones. 3) French/Freedom Fries. Combine the three and you get Teriyaki Snow Fries! Just think about it! The great taste of teriyaki sauce, with the salty experience of French fries, and the delicious texture/temperature of a summer day snow cone. I smell a new menu item at Dairy Queen! The best part is, it's an all year long treat! Or better yet... Teriyaki Snow Fries on a Stick!

I have more great ideas like the ones above. Those are just a few samples to get you going. Again, if you make millions, I'm expecting 50%!

My Very First Animation!

I was digging through an old hard drive and came across my very first animation! I made it back in high school (I think I was a freshman). I used nothing but Photoshop and Final Cut Pro (key-framing). Old school! Anyway, here it is:

The song is called, "Lonely" by Akon.