Biblical Reality #3 (Jonah and the Whale)

This one has been abused by coloring books and Disney. Here's the very very quick, slimed down story of Jonah and the Whale that gives it no justice:

Jonah was a prophet. God spoke to Jonah and told him to go to a city called Nineveh basically tell them that God is pissed at them. For whatever reason, Jonah ran from God. He jumped on a boat and tried to get to a place called Tarshish. The sea was ruthless and the sailors found out that Jonah was running from God. They blamed the bad sea on Jonah and threw him overboard. Then it says that God provided a great fish to swallow Jonah. Jonah was inside the fish for 3 days and 3 nights. Finally, the fish spit Jonah out onto dry land. Jonah did what God commanded and went to the city of Ninevah. The people of Ninevah believed everything Jonah said and repented. There's slightly more to the story, but that's the main idea.

So, was that possible? Here's a few things to think about:

1. The phrase "three days and three nights" in ancient Hebrew usage was an idiomatic expression meaning simply “three days,” and was applicable even if the beginning and ending days of the period were only partial days. Thus it could refer to a period as short as about 38 hours.
2. There is always air in a whale's stomach.
3. As long as the swallowed animal is still alive, the digestion processes doesn't take place.

So, here's the reality. Jonah is swallowed by a whale. He is inside the whale's stomach for at least 38 hours. He cannot move because the lack of space. He can barley breathe because oxygen levels are very low. His skin is bleached and his hair has been dissolved by all the acid. Is smells horrible, so he's probably vomiting constantly. He most likely passed out very soon after being swallowed.

The whale would have vomited Jonah close to shore. The waves would have thrown him to the sand. When he walks into the city of Nineveh, everybody listens to him and begins to repent. Why? He is a skinny, hairless, pure white man who is adamant that God is mad at them. He looks like a guy who got in a fight with God and lost. I would listen too.

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